George Carlin, US radical 1937–2008

author : Sergei Holmes topic : Obituary

by Sergei Holmes

Editor’s note: We would love to have included some actual writing excerpts from George Carlin but goofy shit like copyright rules kept us limited to an homage. So please accept these words from a fan with a recommended reading/hearing/viewing list at the end.

My first and only significant use of plagiarism was when I lifted George Carlin’s “Kids Are Too Small”, “Rules, Rules, Rules” and “Parents’ Cliches and Children’s Secret Answers” from his 1977 On the Road album.

It was for a speech presentation in fifth grade. And I had studied that album.

Now, I know you’re probably thinking ‘Geez, fifth grade? George Carlin? Isn’t that a little young?’

Well, I censored the obvious parts, inserted in a custom joke about my local amusement park (so as to avoid suspicion) and received the rampant adulation of my class-mates and some substitute student teacher’s praise.

My father, who gratefully raised me in an uncensored environment...and fortunately had an HBO subcription (home to all of Carlin’s televised full routines), was a huge Carlin fan himself.

I recall being mesmerized as a young child watching Carlin’s specials. Explaining the Gulf War and how missiles are phallic and pointing out that the people running this mess are named Bush, Dick and Colin.

Carlin knew exactly when to cuss and that was what attracted me to him initially aside from the deviant glee any child gets from watching something they’re “not sup-posed to.”

As I entered adolescence, I discovered his 1970s material and found a brilliant vocal performer seemingly curious about everything. The exact sound our throat makes before we swallow. The hypocrisy of parental authority. What causes people to believe in God and what questions we need to be asking ourselves.

Biology, religion, linguistics, politics, Carlin was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had because he gave me a critical thinking foundation few children (or adults) are ex-posed to.

It’s kind of sad that most parents will never introduce their children to Carlin’s material due to his frequent use of a few of the seven “bad words” in the english language. Because of his genuine skill of creating indelible impressions on numerous life subjects we inevitably must make decisions on, I think Carlin should be considered an edu-cator.

As Carlin grew older (therefore more “stodgy and caustic” according to the Al Sleet, fart joke loving side of his crowd), I found myself becoming less inter-ested/bamboozled by a lot of the ideas this country propagates to subjagate its labor force.

Upon returning to my birthtown, Amarillo, TX, for a brief visit in 2005, I was fortunate to see Carlin do his “Life is Worth Losing” routine in town. Being one of the most conservative towns in the nation, his show bombed, of course. A steady stream of people left throughout. And Carlin was unfazed, beckoning the crowd to “have some fucking courage” during his more creative moments.

After 19 wasted years of youth, I felt redeemed to have my hero get on stage and force people to have their rigid belief systems challenged in an environment that had stunted mine.

It was the most meaningful standing ovation I’ve ever participated in.

Starter book: When Will Jesus Eat the Pork Chops? Starter album: Toledo Window Box. Starter TV routine: “Doin’ It Again.”

Sergei Holmes, a pseudonym, can be reached at almostbamboozled@yahoo.com. He’s an Olympia resident.